Do Men Gossip? Out of a blue one fine day on a break a friend of mine out of nowhere started saying how men gossip more than women (for those wondering yes it was a chic) and being the only bloke there I was taken aback not more from the comment but rather the sudden implication of the statement. I mean here I am trying to have some fresh albeit polluted air, taking a break from the stuffy office environment and bang the statement comes and then I am expected to comment on it. Now not only have I been targeted I am expected to issue a statement on behalf of all the males species to defend this allegation and due to time restraints (remember this was a break and we had to go back to work) I had to come up with something fast and so like almost any other dude I just shrugged my shoulders, put my hands up and said the thing that every guy uses in a situation he doesn't want to get into, the golden words - "I Don't Know". Yes, that is our get-out-situation card for almost everything and as much as the opposite gender hates it they back off as they know nothing else is going to come out of it after those three brilliant words. So after squirming out of that situation I did begin to wonder do us guys gossip? Yeah sometimes we just relay a bit of information we have gathered from somewhere but instead of adding stuff to it we usually convey half of it as we usually don't remember half of it anyways - this could also be because we don't really listen we just pretend we do. So technically is that still gossip? Probably to an extent you can term it to be but when you are told so many things there has to be an outlet for them, you just can't keep it to yourself, no, that would just be plain old selfish and anyways didn't someone say sharing was caring. That said we don't mind listening to good stories coz who doesn't so girls instead of have a whinge and then complaining we don't listen, you could start with telling us some good gossip and slip a bit of your sorrows in between who know we might even listen to them for a change.

Ok....4 months and some odd days, 2 complaints and a friend discovering my blog... I am back here again. Its been a ride of a life since my last blog with so many things happening - one me getting rid of my financial debts - woohooo!
Enough of all the nice things when this happens to be my best venting sources so I'll get right back to doing what I do best -------- whinging (pronounced win-jing)!!!
With the rate of inflation going sky high all thanks to the rising petrol prices and the interest rates hikes do I need to look somewhere else to start complaining? Well yes. This may be indirectly related to the rising petrol prices, maybe, but my pet peeve at the moment is Public Transport!
Catching that train to and from work has become a sort of an assignment in itself these days, with a lot of planning going in as to which train to pick so you can actually get into a scrum with the group of people waiting on the platform and push the people already in the train to the oblivion. Now when we are in a situation where there are lots of people and too less a space we don't compare it to a "can of sardines", God No, the sardines have it too easy compared to us poor souls, we now use the term "Train Ride" for these thank God I am tall or I would be sniffing your armpit moment (if you are tall otherwise you know where you stand.....and err smell).
Now I know if you live in Mumbai or Tokyo (yeah see comparisons are priceless, it can pit absolutely any thing with almost anything) you would probably be wondering what all the fuss is about but unlike those cities we are not equipped for this. We were not even given a chance to practice this option as one day we got on the train and there were seats abound and then the next day those very seats got cocky and showed you their middle fingers and had made friends with backside other than yours......loyalty obviously isn't their best trait.
Anyways so now we push ourselves in to ensure that we reach our destination on time and avoid being told off as the "My train was late" reason has started to fall on deaf ears and it is pretty much "I don't care if I am here...you should be too". The funny thing is you usually have this conversation with your boss in the elevator of the building you work in which of late is not far behind the transport service - its full of people and stops every station err i mean every level.
If you now think that it can't get any worse......then have I got news for you, these train rides are not just about pushing people in the carriage and getting nasty looks from them. Its a whole lesson in survival, a boot camp where you suffer (oh yes.... you sure as hell suffer) from stinky and I mean offensively smelling rotten people getting on board and the air around you getting thicker with no escape as there are no windows. If not that then people getting sick and if you happen to be really unlucky to be standing next to one you get to carry the stench of puke with you all day (unless you keep an extra set of clothing at work and if you do then two words for you - Obsessive Compulsive!).
So there we go the next you complain about petrol prices killing you, just don't do it in front of me as I have issues of my own!!

And I am back!! So its been a bit of a busy period lately and I have done a disappearing act from my blog but then I never am the one to keep things in order. Anyways I hope you all have missed me or so my distorted disillusionment (damn that's a big word...i hope its right) tells me.
The insanity levels in me has been low for some time now, probably due to being busy with work but then you can't take it away from the man which is probably like a silver lining in some weird way, so I am sure! I mean if we took away the good insanity then we would have to deal with logic and that just reminds me about programming which I completely abhor!
Anyways the last month has been pretty entertaining with all the cricket saga going on. Now its hard being a person who has links to two cricket playing nation coz people both side look at you and try to judge your loyalty and for god's sake this is cricket! I had people having a go at me from both sides just because the word "Monkey" was said in a heated moment. Now why would you try to insult someone by calling him/her a monkey is one question and the other is why would anyone be so offended that the word becomes a racial term? I mean the only people to be offended are.....well not even humans, they are monkeys. Imagine the rage of those apes in the Planet of the Apes when they find out that the name of one of their relative is now being used by the humans to insult each other. Yup those creatures are surely going to be pissed off.
The thing that puzzles me is why would you be so sensitive about it when you go around telling the opposite team to not act friendly.
The whole saga sure made cricket popular because quite frankly the gentleman's game sure is boring as hell nowadays with the stadium management having a problem with everything that's related to fans having fun! So long live cricket and well a bit of controversy is good for the game now and then. For everyone being a bit too sensitive get a tissue and wipe those tears off coz you're making a fool of yourself!!

A very Happy New Year to everyone!! Now everyone who had a terrible 2007 can have a sigh of relief and all those who had a very good year, quit showing off.....ok just kidding, its nice to know you guys enjoyed that so horrible year! Anyways its the 1st of Jan and this means that most of us are going to be jotting down those resolutions which we have thought all round the year, the one which we this year surely intend to keep or follow or write and throw. I guess if you are anything like me you would have cringed reading the last option coz you know even if you do follow it for the first two weeks, you are bound to drop it after that. So this year I have no resolutions.....yes nothing whatsoever!! I want to start this year without any predefined predetermined plans which I am not going to follow anyways. Having written that (I was going to write "said that" but then no one would have listened) I walk into this year with the feeling that come what may, this year is going to be "MY" year. This year I am going to do whatever I want to do without anything or anyone pulling me down! So on this note...... make sure, whatever your resolutions are and whether you intend to keep them or not, you make this year as your own. Hope you all had a blast last night and that today's massive hangover does not linger long!!

Alright I haven't written anything for sometime but that's because I have given this insane brain of mine some rest. So therefore I am just posting something I had written something some years ago. I thoroughly enjoyed writing it and well the intention is that you enjoy reading it. So without further ado, here we go..........

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Bush and Blair in the White House after Baghdad is taken over by the allies. A sense of jubiliation is felt in the room. Bush and Blair have a bottle of champagne opened for the celebrations. Howard meanwhile is stuck in the parliament in Canberra because there is an angry mob waiting for him.

Bush : Cheers! We have got Iraq.
Blair : It is time to celebrate now. Our enemy is dead.
Bush : Yeah!! The axis I spoke of is getting reduced.

*(interrupted by an aide)*

Aide : Sir, the Syrians are stirring up against us.
Bush : What's a Syrian??
Blair : Oh wow! What, now we have to deal with these people too.

*(aide tells bush in his ears that Syria is a country next to Iraq and Syrians are people from Syria)*

Bush : Oh!
Blair : Excuse me?
Bush : You want to go?
Blair : What?
Bush : You asked to be excused.
Blair : I asked what you meant by Oh!? (thinking of what an ass he is)
Bush : Never mind that. Syria holds no problem.
Blair : You have a plan?
Bush : Yeah of course! We'll impose sanctions on them and then say they have WMD and then bomb them out.
Blair : Ahem Ahem..... didn't we do that with Iraq?
Bush : well its a working formula isn't it.
Blair : Yeah but............

*(Rumsfleid comes in the room looking upset)*

Rumsfield : Mr. President... The Russians are at it again!!!
Bush : What did Putin do now?
Rumsfield : Well sir, they want to know where the WMD are in Iraq and why didn't we find any?
Bush : Coz they don't have any!!
Rumsfield : Excuse me Mr. President?
Bush : No you may not be excused!! We're talking something important!!

*(Blair trying not to laugh!)*

Rumsfield : Sir?
Bush : Tell Putin that the world wants to know how those russian missiles were found in Iraq.
Rumsfield : Mr.President..... the world really doesn't want to know that.
Bush : Well tell him we wanna know about it! Don't we Blair?
Blair : Uh? Yeah sure. whatever you say George.
Rumsfield : But sir........
Bush : Also remind him that i have said before in my war speech on afghanistan that those who are not with us are against us. Now please i have to talk to Blair.
Rumsfield : Yes Mr. President.
Bush : The man is always worried about one thing or the other. So what were we talking about?
Blair : Syria.
Bush : What's that?

*(Blair thinks of hitting his head hard on the wall)*

Blair : nothing.
Bush : So, what do we do next?
Blair : As in?
Bush : Which country now?
Blair : What??
Bush : Well i'm on a winning spree! i mean two countries in 6 months.
Blair : Yeah but.....
Bush (with arrogance): Well are u saying u are not with us?
Blair : No!! We are with you all the way.
Bush : Good. cuz Howard has no problem.
Blair : You talked to him?
Bush : NO! But i know!!
Blair : Well, What do you have in mind?
Bush : This country we were talking about sometime back.What was the name of it?
Blair : Syria.
Bush : Oh! well why didn't you tell me that it was the name of the country at that time.
Blair : Well what about Syria?
Bush : We got Iraq in 5 weeks, so Syria can be won in a week right?
Blair : Might be.

*(then with a burst of excitement)*

Bush : Then North Korea!!
Blair : WHAT???
Bush : I know you'd get all scared!
Blair : Beg your pardon. I'm not at all scared. But this idea is totally absurd.
Bush : Are you doubting my power?
Blair : No....but.......
Bush : You just wait and watch!

*(Blair thinking when the next elections will happen so that he could get out of this mess he created for himself)*

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I have a habit of reading.....just about anything apart from those dreaded Romance novels. I have worked in press and while going through the checklist the most hilarious bit was going through the titles of these books, would really want to know who comes up with those and what is going through the persons mind at that time. This however is not what the point of this piece is though, but then I never have a point to prove anyways. Coming back to reading, well reading is considered good but sometimes it has its drawbacks too, especially if your work involves magazines and the majority of them being the good ol' women's gossip ones. There is no way you can not know what the latest is about say,Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton to name a few, what they have been up to or into or even onto!! Now I am not complaining because it does keep you entertained at work and it can help you talk to the ladies now and then, mind you some do look at you in a queer (no pun intended) way.
So now that you have a clue what a chronic reader I can be, yes I also read sane stuff as non fiction and not just about Britney and her oops I did it for the nth time again cover title.....yes I get bored right after reading the cover titles of those "stupid people pay money to buy this crap" magazines. So coming back to reading, one of the things I always enjoy reading, well most of the times anyways, is those reader's comment on the articles which almost every article on the net has these days. People slug it out at one another post after post trying to prove a point which in almost 99% cases don't even relate to the article. Just an hour back I was reading this article about the agonizingly annoying (you may also replace that with irritating if you want) Himesh trying to get the abs allegedly duplicating SRK, like no one else ever had 6 packs, am sure my friend John usually prefers cartons to the six packs but then those are beers and these are abs and abs involve lots of hard work and give a better look than the beer belly john sports(sorry john but you're the only fictional real man who could fit the scenario, the others were too real to reveal and avoid a lawsuit) but then that another story. So going back to Himesh, even though it is tormenting, the article was all about him and when I got to the comments after the article that was where there was real battle going on, some guy posted a comment about "Saanwariya" (this post is so full of pain and torture now, I am actually beginning to feel bad for the people reading it!) made so much money....yeah right.....for the innocent and nice people, that was me being sarcastic with those two words, and then a chic went on to praise SRK and that was it.......the whole thing turned into a battleground with the war of words touching everything from lack of English skills to being a modern day snobby bitch (sic) with an army of boyfriends looking down at others to being so hit down with inferiority complex that they think those things about others and not look at themselves, all while some real losers and I mean real life losers filled in the space with some out of place swearing which would cost them a little more than they think if they were in jail!! All in all it was about 15 minutes of pure nonsensical (if that is a word...if not I just created one!!) entertainment which killed some of my not so precious time and gave me some more insanity to live with! So until next time keep reading and keep trying your luck with a bit of insanity!

Now we all know that whatever happens the good side always wins over the bad side, but what is it about the bad side that they always lose? I mean they are the hefty mean guys and sometimes gals and all those good ones are those little geeky, push them with a finger and they'll fly kind of characters yet when it comes to the last encounter there's always some trick up the good characters sleeves. Now if you ask me someone who tricks someone surely does not fight fair.......yeah there you go I've said it, the good ones only win coz they cheat!! Now don't take me wrong I ain't a big fan of those nasty bad and evil characters but once in a while we should humour them also. The big bad wolf is the big bad wolf because he ate up the Grandma and then wanted to eat Red Riding Hood also, but has anyone ever given two thoughts about his situation? It's not like he could go to a McDonald's and order a burger meal, think about it, would you serve a big wolf when he comes there? No, you call for help and the poor creature is going to be a sitting target (I was going to say duck but then it might have confused some people) for the animal control to take out. His actions were still not correct because he had already eaten one person he should have just gone his way but he got greedy and again if someone is really hungry then they tend to want to over eat and this is what might have been the case. Although I still think he should have eaten Red Riding Hood coz not only was she very annoyingly irritating she was dumb too, she had just met the wolf sometime back and had known her Grandma for however many years yet when she saw the wolf in her costume she couldn't make out who was who! Anyways that was one story but there are others too.......like say Goldilocks, anyone would want to lay their hands on a thief who only eats their supper but has the audacity to sleep in their bed! So the bears were pissed off, that doesn't make them the villain it's really harsh that we even think that for breaking in is still a crime and hence that makes dear darling Goldilocks a criminal.
So see all these good characters aren't exactly good and all them poor baddies are probably not as bad as projected. So next time you see a wolf in your local take away do him and yourself a favour and let him just buy some food for him and his family.